


Dial H for Heartbreak

by BornToLose



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drugs, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27078088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornToLose/pseuds/BornToLose
Summary: You can't handle Izzy's addiction anymore and draw the line when he gets arrested.
Relationships: Izzy Stradlin/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll do it anyway, but should I write a part two? 👀

Izzy wasn't fun to be around when he was on drugs. You could barely handle a drunk Izzy, but a high Izzy was a real asshole. He would say some harsh things to you and while at the beginning, you had been able to ignore it, you were now slowly starting to take it seriously. As it got more frequent, you wondered if he really did think of you as a greedy bitch or a clingy control freak. You were sure he didn't mean it and it was only the drugs speaking, but it still hurt to even hear those words coming from his mouth.

He would always apologize for what he'd said though. You would often find yourself lying in bed with your boyfriend crawling up to you and pulling you close to his chest, murmuring apologies and kissing your head. You would just grab his hand and say it was fine. In fact, it wasn't fine. It still left you thinking for days. For the moment, all the pain from the names he'd called you just hours before would be swiped away when you fell asleep with his arms around you. But his next excess came and so did the insults.

It had gotten rare to see him sober and he was isolating himself from you. You were beginning to feel like you didn't have a boyfriend anymore. Most of the time, he was away, but when he was at home, you were still alone.

You knew he didn't do all this on purpose. He was an addict and you'd heard of how hard it was to get clean, so you tried to be there for him. You tried to support him with only his best interests in mind, but it was getting difficult when he never pulled through with his plans to become sober.

You were aware he'd sold drugs after he'd moved to L.A. to financially support himself and his band. It was concerning, but once they'd got signed to Geffen Records, you'd thought he would stop doing heroin. You were wrong. It was only then that it really went through the roof.

You'd also thought the same when he'd nearly died after swallowing his drug stash in Japan last year. He was in a coma for four days after that and when he'd woken up, he'd promised you he would get clean. That turned out to be a lie too.

And you always forgave him. For everything. Until you didn't.

_ "Sweetie, they're talking about your boyfriend on the radio… I don't think you're going to like that," _ your sister murmured into the receiver and you sprinted into the kitchen to turn the radio on, your jaw dropping when you understood what she was talking about.

_ "Our source says Stradlin has been put in jail in Phoenix after urinating on an airplane. We will give an update as soon as we get more information." _

Fittingly, they played a Guns N' Roses song next and you turned the radio off. You didn't want to hear Izzy, not even his guitar on Sweet Child O' Mine.

So many emotions were coming up in you. You were furious, sad and disappointed at the same time.

He'd just left yesterday and you'd told him not to get into too much trouble, but this was worse than anything he had ever done. It wasn't the exact thing that bothered you - you couldn't care less about him pissing in some plane's aisle - but the great probability that he was high. This was the first time he'd actually been sent to jail. You didn't even know if it was only for one night, if he was already out by now, if he would have to stay in there and what he'd get sentenced to.

_ "I'm sorry, (y/n)." _

You picked up the phone again, almost having forgotten your sister was still on the line. You shook your head, trying to blink back tears. "He promised to stop," was all you could choke out.

_ "He isn't one to keep his promises," _ she sighed.

She was right, but you never wanted to believe it. He really didn't keep his promises - not anymore, at least. There had been a time when he'd been a different man. A man whose life hadn't been completely taken over by drugs. There was only very little left of him now.

"I- I need… we'll talk later," you stammered before ending the call and collapsing on the couch, kicking the coffee table in frustration.

You always trusted Izzy. Maybe too much at times. You believed almost everything he said, including his constant promises to quit doing drugs. It wasn't like you didn't try to keep your relationship going, but it was getting tiring and - now more than ever - you started pondering if it even made sense anymore. You loved him, but was it ever going to change? He hadn't tried to keep his drug use down after he'd been close to dying, so why would it be different now when he'd  _ only _ been arrested?

You'd promised to call Izzy after his arrival. Now four days had gone by and you still hadn't picked up the phone. Staying silent was your way of letting him know you were angry at him. Besides, what number would you call? Maybe he wasn't even at the hotel at this point but still in jail and you could do without talking to him, knowing he was sitting in a cell. Actually, you could do without talking to him at all right now.

One afternoon, the telephone rang. You didn't know who it could be, so you answered it.

_ "Hello, (y/n)." _ The voice that had once made you happy when you'd heard it on the phone now gave you mixed feelings of disappointment, anger, frustration and heartbreak.

"Izzy." Your jaw was clenched and you were trying your best not to completely lose it and at least listen to what he had to say.

_ "Listen, I'm really, really sorry. I don't know why I did that," _ he started, but you already cut him off.

"You really think sorry makes it better? You can't just pull this shit and expect me to forget about it when you say sorry. It's over."

_ "Please, babe, don't say that! I promise I'll change!" _

Hadn't you been so pissed off, you would have almost felt sorry for him, but you weren't falling for that. He'd always found a way to remind you of why you'd fallen in love with him, but not this time. As desperate as he sounded, you'd made up your mind. You stood by what you said.

"You promised that so many times, but getting arrested?" you screamed. "You might go to fucking jail!"

_ "Baby, just hear me out-" _

You hung up on him.

Izzy slammed his hand against the tin of the payphone box, drawing in a sharp breath at the reminder that his bruises hadn't disappeared yet. He brought the other hand up to take another drag of his cigarette but stopped himself and dropped it on the ground, tears pricking in his eyes.

How hadn't he gotten the hints earlier? You asking him to cut down the drinking at home first, then the smoking, then the heroin - it had been so obvious all along. He hated that he'd made you feel uncomfortable for such a long time to the point you'd spent more time with your friends than with him.

Actually, he couldn't recall much of the last times he had been at home with you because he had always been too high to perceive what had been happening around him. He had also been told that he was a dick when he was on drugs and while he couldn't remember what exactly he'd said to you, he knew it must have really hurt you because he did remember apologizing to you more than he could count on one hand.

He felt terrible about it and for a second, he contemplated giving you another call, but you wouldn't answer anyway and if you did, you would hang up immediately. He was aware it was his own fault, but he was heartbroken that you'd decided to break up with him over the phone, leaving him questioning if he'd even get to talk to you one last time in an attempt to work it out. The thought of coming home to a half empty apartment made his stomach drop.

He'd already decided to get clean at the police station, but this was the final straw. He had to get you to give him another chance, even if he didn't think he deserved it himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all needed a happy ending for this fic, so here it is!

Over the course of four months, Izzy still hadn't moved out of your shared apartment. All his things were in the same place as when he'd taken the plane to Indianapolis in August. You figured he'd come to pick them up another time, but as you weren't over him yet, the fact that your home still looked as if he had never left gave you some sort of comfort. The feeling that he was just on tour and would come back soon.

It was you who had broken up with him and you were certain it was a good decision, but it did hurt and you wished it hadn't come this far.

Actually, Izzy's intention was to keep his belongings there in hopes of getting back together with you. He thought moving out made your breakup official and he wasn't ready for that. Dropping by to get his stuff at some point would naturally offer an opportunity to see you again and persuade you to give him a second chance. But he couldn't face you and try to convince you he'd changed yet. He was almost there, but he wanted to wait for you to see the final result.

After that fateful phone call, he had asked his mother if he could stay with her for a while, explaining the situation to her. It sure wasn't a great feeling getting sober in his childhood home, but he managed and in December, he finally felt ready to look you in the eyes again.

Izzy remembered that you would have to work on the day before Christmas because you were one of the newbies who had to work when others got the day off, so you would come home in the evening and he decided to surprise you. If you'd perceive it as a positive surprise was unclear, but he'd try his hardest to make it one.

Obviously, Izzy still had the keys to your apartment and sneaked in, making sure you really weren't home before closing the door behind him. Walking through the corridor now felt vastly different. Not only because he was sober now. Mainly because back then, he'd never worried about your relationship, even if he should have, but now he did more than ever, although it was almost too late. He couldn't fuck anything up today or it would really be the last time he'd see you.

He quietly looked around out of curiosity if you'd put away some of the things that had memories attached to him. You hadn't. Polaroids of the two of you were still hanging on the walls, little gifts kept their place on the mantelpiece and the black acoustic guitar he'd taught you to play with years ago was also on the stand by the armchair. Seeing that you hadn't completely moved on from him yet brought a smile to his face because neither had he. It gave him hope that you might be willing to give him a second chance.

A look at the calendar next to the telephone revealed your shift ended at six o'clock. Enough time for what he'd planned.

First he set up your present under the tree. He'd never been one for huge gifts and preferred to show his love through little thoughtful things and actions. It wasn't any different this time, although what was connected to the tiny gift itself was actually quite big. 

Part of his plan was also to cook dinner for you. During his stay in Indiana, he had learned a few of his mother's recipes to show you he could be of use when it comes to chores and tonight he was attempting to prepare your favorite holiday meal. Izzy had timed it just right that everything would be ready when you'd come home.

Although he constantly told himself to stay calm and think positive, he was worried if you would kick him out. Maybe you really never wanted to see him again and just hadn't gotten to remove all the pictures yet because you were too busy? Could you even forgive him after what had happened? You had sounded so upset when he had called you…

He had always felt comfortable around you, yet you were able to make him incredibly nervous sometimes.

His thoughts were disrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"Hello?" you asked carefully. The door was already unlocked and you didn't recall inviting anyone over who could be here before you. The last thing you needed was somebody breaking into your flat on Christmas. You slowly walked down the hall, gripping your keys tighter as you came closer to the sound of feet on the kitchen floor.

Your scared expression turned into one of relief and confusion when you saw Izzy standing in front of you and you let go of the keys, placing them on the table.

"Merry Christmas Eve, (y/n)." He smiled sheepishly and took off the apron.

"I-Izzy? How did you get in?"

"This is still our apartment, isn't it?" he replied, nodding in his own keys' direction. "I… wanted to surprise you."

It definitely was a surprise for you and despite thinking you'd been on a good way to get over him, you were secretly happy to see him. You only now noticed how thin he really was, but he did look healthier than the last time you'd seen him, strung out and tired. He seemed to have stayed away from drugs for a while. You hadn't seen him like this in a long time.

"I'm cooking for you," he added, breaking the rather uncomfortable silence where both of you just stared, trying to get used to the idea of seeing each other again, although you'd broken up months ago. "It should be ready in about ten minutes. I didn't expect you to be here so soon…"

"Thank you, you didn't have to." You sat at the dining table when a small box under the Christmas tree caught your eye.

"Oh yeah, you can open it," Izzy said as you picked up the envelope that was leaned against the box first. Instead of the usual Christmas card you'd thought it would be, it was a handwritten letter which started with 'my dearest (y/n)'. A name he didn't use lightly if he didn't want you to take what he had to say seriously.

He watched as you read the letter, your facial expressions changing on occasion and your eyes getting wet as you got closer to the end.

In the letter, Izzy wrote about what he'd been up to since the last time you'd talked. That he had spent time in Indiana, that he'd managed to get clean, that he'd had his last alcoholic drink earlier this week when he and Axl had played with The Rolling Stones and Ronnie Wood had asked them to share an expensive bottle of wine with him and he would have declined if it hadn't been one of his idols. He couldn't hold back the occasional sappiness, telling you how sorry he was for taking it too far and how heartbroken he had been when you had broken up with him. Nonetheless, he thanked you for making him realize how badly he needed to quit the drugs for himself and those around him or else he would lose the people he loved most - like you.

"I thought you'd rather read all about it than listen to me," Izzy admitted, sitting across from you.

You reached out for his hand and locked your fingers with his, a small smile on your face. "I'm proud of you, really."

He squeezed your hand and nodded gratefully.

You hadn't thought he'd ever actually pull through with it. He hadn't all the times before when he'd said he'd get sober just to shut you up when you had once again been telling him how his addiction was getting out of control. It meant a lot to you that he had now decided to do it voluntarily and succeeded.

"What's in the box?"

An excited look appeared on Izzy's face. "Well, open it!"

You took off the lid and frowned when you saw a key inside the box. Taking it out to inspect it, you gave him a questioning look. You'd thought he wanted to move in with you again?

"I bought a house for us," he explained. "I think you'll like it. I know you've been wanting to settle down for a couple of years and I'm warming up to the idea now. I promise I'll do my best to give you everything you want and be a better boyfriend than I've been… Will you give me another chance?"

You looked down at the key in your hand, collecting your thoughts. He put so much effort into trying to win you back and he'd obviously changed. And most importantly, he recognized his mistakes and was willing to improve. Maybe you could work it out after all. "Yes."

His eyes softened and he was about to respond just when the timer went off. "Shit, the food!"

Izzy rushed to the kitchen, cursing under his breath as he turned off the stove. You followed him and leaned against the refrigerator, watching him with a smile. "What would you have done with the house if I hadn't given you another chance?"

A blush crept up his cheeks and he glanced at you as he got two plates from the cupboard. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about that… I wasn't so sure you would even want to see me. For a moment, I thought you'd kick me out, but I don't know what I would have done if you'd said no…"

"You do know you literally pay rent for all of this? Of course, I wouldn't kick you out of your own apartment, Izzy…" You playfully rolled your eyes and he chuckled, pulling you into his side to kiss the top of your head.

"Well, you never know… Now sit down and let me get this ready before it gets cold. I've spent too much time on that," he told you and you turned to do as he said. "Are we good now?"

"What do you say?" You gave him a peck on the lips, leaving him with a wide smile on his face.


End file.
